I sat down in my chair and surveyed the lineup coming my way. But like all desires, they have to be placed where they belong. These moments of vulnerability, no matter how fleeting, reminded me that we all feel this way. I knew the call to sexual purity. And where are we in relation to frequency, healing, victory? I became a shriveled up version of what I was before the cancer. Large numbers of men and women in the church represent this population. And so, they have positioned themselves publicly so as to not give themselves over to their lusts. It removed my beginning jitters and turned my trepidation into possibility. First, I just want to totally affirm the desire to be married. My knee-jerk reaction is:
I think once character, compatibility, and godliness are there, those fuel attraction in the way that pleases God, and is much safer for our souls. One of the things I say at The Village, on repeat, is that nothing good has ever come from a boyfriend and girlfriend cuddling on the couch watching a movie from 11pm to 1am. Guys were pursuing him and he was avoiding them. Are there any other circumstances in which you, as a pastor, would tell others that they have no business pursuing a dating relationship? It gave me the confidence to enter the world of Tinder, the confidence to say yes to strangers at bars, and to escape my fear of sex. It removed my beginning jitters and turned my trepidation into possibility. The truth is that every one of us are coming into our relationships with the opposite sex needing further sanctification, needing growth, needing our identity in Christ, and needing to have parts of our flesh mortified. And so, they have positioned themselves publicly so as to not give themselves over to their lusts. I sat down in my seat and confidently awaited my first match. Entering the dating world, I felt quite vulnerable. When Should a Single Stop Dating? This is how the gospel has worked in my own life and in my own marriage. Maybe because I have been married for fifteen years, but this question of purity feels like common sense. He had a relational conflict with some guys, and he was refusing to connect with them and reconcile. With the exception of the man who started a conversation by describing how he could get away with my murder, most everyone I met that night was pleasant. So I decided to ask deeper questions on first dates. They are in a forest. I think he should be encouraging her in prayerfulness and encouraging her towards an understanding and growing knowledge of the word of God. Even the one-off dates where we never saw each other again became imbued with greater meaning and fun. After a while, connection was what I craved. Dating for fun was great, but I was finding it hard to build a real connection with anyone. But like all desires, they have to be placed where they belong. And I am confident that, over time, character and godliness will win the day. I entered a period of fun and excess. And where are we in relation to frequency, healing, victory?
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